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From a mail by David DeAngelo
***QUESTION***
Dave:
I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there thatwould like your input on
this question.
There is something that I haven't seen addressed in your mailbag or
your e-book and that is what to do when the woman you've have e-mailed or
called
didn't reply to the e-mail or phone call and you see them again.
Two personal examples:
Example one:
I meet this girl at my job. Start doing C&F routine on her: "Why do
you look so serious, are you trying to scare people away. I know inside of
you there's a nice girl that's just dying to come out." She laughs and I
say "That's more like it, now you don't look so scary." To make a long
story short I ask this girl Friday to give me her phone number so that we
can get together the next day. She gave me her number and I called, left a
message on her voice mail and she never got back to me. Saw her the
following Monday (she sits right across from me) and she didn't say
anything. No reason why she didn't call me back. Nothing. I ended not
talking to her. I thought that if I asked her about why she flaked she
would've given me a lame excuse anyway. I haven't been giving her too much
attention since.
Example two:
I go to this club on a regular basis. I saw this one girl and started
dancing with her. Did some C&F routine like "Don't get too close", "I
don't even know you that ell". She was enjoying it. I asked her for her
number before I left (she didn't have e-mail). Found out after I called
the number that she gave me a wrong number. I saw her two weeks afterwards
in the same club and just ignored her.
Now for my question. What should I do when I come across situations
like these again? Act like it never happened and ignore them or call them
on their bullshit. Sometimes I think women flake as a test to see what the
men are going to do if they happen to come across them again. I know some
guys will just tell them off? What have you done in these situations?
RF NYC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First, thanks for this question. I have had this
situation happen to me personally many, many times, and I'm glad you
asked.
One of the things I've talked about before is how
once a person believes something to be "true" or believes that they
understand how something works, that they tend to make other information
or new things that they learn, fit that older model, rather than being
open to change.
For instance, people who become part of a cult will
tend to take the advice from others, evidence that they're not doing the
right thing etc. to help convince them that they ARE doing the right
thing.
The reason that I bring this up is because it sounds
to me like you're looking for an answer to how to solve a problem that you
should actuallytry to PREVENT in the first place.
I'm going to talk about how to prevent this problem
first, then tell you a few things you can do when you run into it again in
the future as well.
Here are two things to keep in mind:
1) Women give out their numbers to guys A LOT (on average). A woman can
have all kinds of reasons for giving out her number. She might like
the
attention, or it might even be just to get rid of a guy.
2) Women expect men to call THEM. And if a man doesn't reach them when
he calls, a woman expects the man to TRY AGAIN. (In the book "The Rules" -
the book for women about how to get a man to marry you - the authors tell
women not to call men and rarely return a man's call, because it makes
him
think about you and want you more).
If I were you, I'd start thinking about two
approaches:
1) Figure out how to make it so that women WANT to give you their REAL
number and make them WANT to call you back based on the first meeting.
2) If you got a number instead of email, call her at least 3 or 4 times
before you give up.
To figure out how to make women WANT to call you
back, you might have to work on improving your humor, your personality,
your appearance, or whatever. In short, you need to learn how to make a
woman feel ATTRACTION for you when you first meet her. If you don't, she's
not likely to callyou back.
Don't go too overboard on this one because a lot of
this issue is just the fact that women don't return calls as often as men
do... but think it through.
And if you need to learn more about how to trigger
this response called ATTRACTION in women, then you should probably take a
minute and read
through THIS before you read any further:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication
There are probably a few things you're doing that
make women feel a little strange at first (this is just a guess, as most
guys have things they could improve).
Maybe you're acting a little too nervous.
Maybe you're acting too "nice" or like you're "awed"
by women.
Maybe you're not making eye contact directly, and
you're giving off a "not-very-confident" vibe.
Think about it.
But the best thing you can do is to just call a woman
on the phone 3 or 4 times before you give up! (That is, when a woman gives
you her REAL
number).
Women expect men to keep trying, so they just don't
call back.
Remember, SHE'S THE WOMAN. She's the one who's
getting approached by interested guys, and who probably sees you as "just
another guy" calling her.
You must be persistent, keep it cool and low- key,
and keep calling until you reach her.
If a woman gives you a fake number, it just means
that she wanted to get rid of you...
You need to think about how the interaction went, and
TAKE SPONSIBILITY for the behavior and communication that made her
want to give you a fake number.
Again, think about it and make improvements.
And to answer your question directly of "What do I do
if I see her again afterwards", I'd say that it all depends.
If you would consider going out with a woman who has
the ethical standard of giving out fake numbers, then I'd say you might
want to reconsider
your choice of women...
And if you would like to talk to a woman who didn't
call you back (maybe you left her a message, etc.), then I'd come up with
something
funny. Cocky & Funny, that is.
Walk over and make fun of her because it's obvious
that she didn't have enough money to pay her phone bill and when she tried
to call you back she found that her phone was disconnected but that it's
nothing to be ashamed of and you'll take pity
on her and buy her some
ramen noodle soup while she's broke and hungry.
Just make sure you're lighthearted about it, and you
communicate that you could really care less that she didn't call you
back... but that you're going to take the opportunity to bust on her
because she's in your presence.
In the seminars that I teach, we do some exercises
around body language and other non- verbal communication.
Your body language says SOOOOO MUCH about you, and
women use body language to decide many, many things about you.
If your body language and communications aren't
working together to create ATTRACTION, then you're going to get a lot more
fake numbers and a lot
fewer calls back from
women. | 
